are you still at the devil's house?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
