How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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