Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he thought i was a dude.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
