Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Text me some of your sweat
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize