Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
