Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
