Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
