Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
