Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
