I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
