There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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