Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
