when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
