like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
