Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
