i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
