she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
