wake up i wanna do it froggy style
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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