A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
