Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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