addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
