im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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