Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
please come you make the beer taste better
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
