so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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