I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
