K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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