We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
