Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
