I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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