If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
