Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
