he puts the penis in happiness.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
