So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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