I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
