Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
