Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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