I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
