i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
