Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize