I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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