Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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