i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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