She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
