2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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