Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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