I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
