Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need water and some morals
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
