Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
PANTIES FOUND
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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