I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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