i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
