Where did you get a picture of my penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
