you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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