I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
