DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she peed on how many people?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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