he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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