What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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