She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
