It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
