i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
