So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
