end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
