i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
