maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize